Let me save some time: No need to watch the debates

Posted: September 24, 2012 in political stupidity
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

So let me save you some time by telling you in advance exactly what is going to happen and even what most of you will think about it.

Obama vs Romney

If you’re a Republican or Conservative you will be upset that Obama lied so much, you will interpret any statement he makes as evidence of his further plan to socialize America, redesign the flag, take away all of our guns and ruin our economy, regardless of what the facts are.

If you’re a Democrat or Liberal you will be feeling very smug as Romney once again showed himself to be stiff and disconnected from the common man, confused on the facts and generally unpresidential.  You’ll be thrilled at how smooth the president comes off.

Biden vs Ryan

If you’re a Democrat or Liberal DO NOT WATCH THIS DEBATE!  Paul Ryan is going to slaughter Biden, he’ll seem confident, self-assured, he’ll lie and people will clap and Biden, as Biden always does, will demonstrate his extreme flexibility by inserting his foot deeply in his mouth while still standing at the podium and smiling all at the same time.

If you’re a Republican or Conservative, ITS PARTY TIME!!!  Invite your friends over, bring out the Ann Coulter posters, run the split screen Fox News Commentary, play let’s drill in Alaska Boardgames, and thoroughly enjoy yourselves.  If the poll numbers are accurate and the trend continues this may be your last happy night this election season.

Just another public service message in hopes of simplifying your life.  ~ ZD Blue

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