So this week a local group that I really have a lot of respect for, they support women who are the victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, held a walk a mile in our shoes event. These events have become popular over the last couple of years, men are asked to walk or run in high heels much to the joy of the typically largely female crowd that shows up to watch the event. My question about this is how did women wearing high heels get blamed on men?
Women are constantly bitching about all of the uncomfortable clothing that they “have” to wear and somehow it always comes back that they have to wear them because of men. Ladies, I’m calling bullshit on this one, it is not because of men that you wear high heels, panty-hose or girdles. It was not men who promoted push-up bras, thongs, or heroine chic, it is not men who cause you to obsess about your appearance or your weight.
What is my evidence for this, well first of all experience. I’ve had many conversations during my adult life with men who complain about how much make-up women wear and even more complaints about how much women obsess about their appearance and clothing. Simple observation tells you this is true, look around, plenty of women who wear little or no make-up, who don’t wear high heels who are athletic, rubenesque, overweight or are just plain fat still have men dating, in love and married to them. It is not in the pages of Playboy or Men’s Health that you find ads and articles on issues of women’s fashion or weight. Ladies, we love you, skinny, fat, make-up, no make-up, yes we are the more visual of the genders but we want the real you. And the real you doesn’t need all of this fashion bullshit to be sexy as hell.
The world, although far from perfect, does not operate like an episode of Mad Men, women no longer get sent home for not looking good, or told she really needs to beef up her appearance in order to attract a man. Women for the most part, no longer build their world around finding a good man, but living a life built on their own merits.
The real culprit here is, well, women! All of the articles that talk about how much your man wants you to lose weight, or look like Kate Moss or in the other extreme Kim Kardashian, appear in Cosmo and other women’s magazines. It is in fashion magazine ads that high-heeled protruding calves are featured, where people obsess over panty lines to get you to buy thongs. No man is ever going to say, wow, she’s hot, oh wait, panty lines, that’s a deal breaker for me.
Some women love wearing heels, tall platform soles, push-up bras and binding clothes, it makes them feel sexy and/or powerful and that’s fantastic for them. But don’t blame that on men. So ladies, climb down off your heels, put away the make-up and wear your most comfortable panties and then pay attention. How many men comment negatively to you that day? Pay even more attention to how many women comment negatively, because other women pay a lot more attention to the way you dress than men do. I can prove that in two quick experiments. First, after you’ve seen your significant other tomorrow give him a call and ask him what you were wearing, then do the same with your best girlfriend. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that your girlfriend wins that contest. Finally, next time you are in a bar or restaurant and a striking woman walks in, look around, I bet a lot more women pay attention to her than the men do. So ladies, stop blaming us, at the end of the day you dress for each other, a lot more than you dress for us.