Minor Rant about the Carnival Splendor Horror at Sea

Posted: November 12, 2010 in Friday Fun, General Stupidity
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Ok so really, how freakin soft have Americans become that being stuck on a cruise ship for three days is some kind of Bataan Death March!  Let’s set the stage, a fire broke out in the engine room of the Carnival Splendor and the ship lost power.  For the first 14 hours of the incident some of the ships toilets didn’t work.  There was no hot water on the ship for three days nor any hot food.  So let’s see what this means, men had to pee over the rail, and if you dropped a deuce you had to keep the lid closed for the first 14 hours, after that it was all normal except that you had to eat sandwiches and take cold showers on a ship where the loss of air condition was also an issue.  So which was it people, too hot or too cold?

One passenger exclaimed upon disembarking, it was like camping at sea, OH THE HORROR.

Passenger Marquis Horace said, “It was absolutely deplorable …I felt like marooned on a prison ship, because I was in the dark and I had mayo (mayonnaise) sandwiches and backed-up toilets. It was just bad, it was really bad all the way round,” he told CNN.  Wow, like being in prison, a prison where you can stroll on the deck, swim, lay by the pool, socialize or have a drink, THOSE CARNIVAL BASTARDS!

Another passenger Azila said she was afraid of drug-runners or pirates boarding the ship while it was adrift, before the tugs and the USS Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier came to the rescue.  Yes, the terrifying odyssey of watching for pirates off the coast of Ensenada, that’s near Somalia right?  I shouldn’t jest there are drug-runners there, and I’m sure they are chomping at the bit to capture the largest, most visible unarmed ship in the world so they can use it to secretly run drugs to America, GO TO CODE ORANGE!

To cap off the horror and terrible mistreatment our fellow citizens are suffering through they are having their tickets fully refunded, as well as all of their travel expenses and the insult, they are being given a free additional cruise as well.  My fellow Americans, we will stand for this insult, I say no, quickly now, run to your cell phone and immediately call your congressman, your president, your local Tea Party or The Dude!  THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND!

To read more about the greatest horror of the twenty-first century click on the link below:



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