BP tries to be a top but turns out to be a bottom!

Posted: May 30, 2010 in environment, oil spill
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

In a turn of events that would make a leather clad biker in the Castro blush it turns out BP is a bottom.  I know, I know, how is that possible, the biggest baddest oil company on the planet, billions of dollars in profits and assets, damn near world domination on a corporate level they have to be a top!  So, here is the scene, major public screw up, failed Haliburton fornication fix (see my previous post on BP & Haliburton) and now a top kill, how butch is that!

Unfortunately for our wanna be top, the top kill has failed!  Like any prideful top it took BP some time to admit the failure, hey it happens to everyone once in a while, right?  But after the initial failure, BP took a break, (was that a little blue pill I saw them swallowing), they returned with a vengeance to top that open hole!  Then after a second failure, they grudgingly admitted it was time to move on to other options.  Like a lonely sailor after a failed one night stand BP did not even have the courage to face us and say they failed, how rude.

So now they will use a sealed containment dome, wait, containment dome isn’t that what failed on their first attempt?  Sure was, the difference was that last time the dome wasn’t sealed.  It wasn’t sealed because BP didn’t just want to stop the flow, but wanted to funnel the oil into a flexible tube and pump it onto a tanker ship.  So, now they are just willing to cap the hole, gee, why didn’t they try that back when it failed the first time, why not seal the top and relower it?  Probably because the chance of success is not nearly the 60 or 70% chance that BP gave us for success on the latest debacle.

Maybe it’s just me but I’m starting to think maybe Obama, the US Coast Guard or better yet, the entire state of Louisiana ought to top BP just to show em how it’s done!


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