30 Days of Burning Man – Day 24, Sex on the Playa
This year there is a possibility that there will be a much higher percentage of newbies heading to the desert so I thought I’d spend the 30 days before the gates open throwing out some information, some images and a little bit of wisdom, advice and snark about the place I love so much. These posts will be generally directed at Burning Man virgins but hopefully some of you old dogs out there will contribute through comments or get some enjoyment out of them as well. So here we go. . I’ll include at least one photo from Burning Man each day and once a week I’ll do nothing but photos. I hope the posts are sometimes helpful and also enjoyable, enjoy ~ ZD Blue
Yes, I know, you’ve been told that Burning Man is a drunken Pagan orgy where people are running around stoned and naked looking for the smallest of reason to jump into the sack with you. Well, much like the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow, the Playa orgy is a bit of a myth. Now, does an environment where people are relaxed, kind, non-judgmental and uninhibited increase people’s libidos a bit, absolutely. Does it turn everyone into wanton sluts, no.
First off folks and I’ve mentioned this before, there is a lot of law enforcement on the playa so public sex acts run a pretty high risk of getting you both observed and arrested. So should you run into that leprechaun, be discreet.
Without a doubt some interesting things can happen on the Playa, on burn night, my first year on the Playa I was propositioned at the burn by a really friendly young lad, not my cup of tea so I passed on the offer. I’ve been picked up on a bike ride by a lovely young lady and claimed by an incredibly sexy vampire at PUN camp’s Nowhere bar, the Playa is a magical place and a lot of lovely things happen there.
Like in the default world however, no still means no and someone too loaded to give consent is off-limits. We don’t want the ugliness of the default world to creep in, unfortunately at times it does but we should all do our best to make sure it doesn’t.
A little tour around the web for a little more information about sex on the Playa.
First, the experts, the folks at the Bureau of Erotic Discourse (BED) are dedicated to making sure sex is an appropriate and good experience on the Playa, I would really advise anyone to check out their site if you’re even thinking about having sex on the Playa.
Sex and relationship advice from the org site: http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/relationships.html
Sex and the Single Burner
Once upon a time, I did a stint as an advice columnist. Here is the answer to a question I received.
Q. I’m going out to Burning Man for the first time and I’m curious about the sexual energy involved. Could the Goddess of Love give me a survival guide to sex at Burning Man?
A. As you state, there is a lot of sexual energy swirling and whirling about, much like a little hippie chick at a Dead show. Anything and everything can and will happen when you stick a bunch of 20th century homo sapiens in an empty desert. Here’s the inside skinny that will make your journey through the sexual side of Black Rock City more pleasant.
- Figure out what you want. Love? Sex? Your wildest fantasies? It’s all there for the taking. And for goodness sake, make sure the person across from you wants the same thing. If she or he doesn’t, there are 500 others who do. Don’t go breakin’ no hearts.
- Be respectful. Just because people are walking around naked does not necessarily mean they wish *you* were naked in a small enclosed space with them. Learn to take no for an answer, and don’t be afraid to use the “n” word yourself.
- Pay attention to your body. The desert is a dangerous place, and the climate alone will push you to the limit physically. Get plenty of rest, monitor your substance intake and carry water with you at all times (you also have to drink the water).
- Always play safe. If your budget for supplies didn’t include condoms, stop by and see the fine folks at Safer Sex Camp. They’ll hook you up.
- Make love to the playa, and she will love you back. Become one with the sun, the stars, and the omnipresent dust. (Word up to Annie Sprinkle for that piece of advice.)
- Don’t be afraid to try new things. If there was ever a space for exploring, this is it! Who knows, you may even like it and want to do it again…and again and again….
- Take responsibility for your own pleasure. You can find anything your little heart desires, but you have to ask for it first! If you don’t get what you want, look in the mirror.
Here’s a great piece on the subject from Carnal Nation http://carnalnation.com/content/58418/1476/playa-virgins-guide-sex-burning-man?page=0,1